Journal 14: What I Carry

Since I'm dating (and plans for marrying) an ROTC man I know a lot already about things that are carried by a military guy. I found the short story "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien an insightful piece of literature and useful for people who had never given any thought to what military personnel might carry into battle or on a mission. Or in some cases, what they carried emotionally years after the bullets stopped flying.

If in Lieutenant Jimmy Cross's unit I would have carried the necessities first. A small Bible and my favorite novel, a gun (the type depending on the mission), personal first aid kit, candy, sunscreen/ bug repellent, sun glasses, a compass, bedding, clothing. These are what I see as necessities and the things I know I would want in the field. However as serving in the field grew more strenuous and grueling, I would carry my family and friends left back home closer to my heart. The comrades already lost to enemy bullets and the enemies I had killed would become emotional baggage carried with me for the rest of my life. As strong minded as I believe I am, nothing would ease the pain of the ones I had lost. I would also carry fear. Fear of not knowing what the next day brought, fear of not knowing if I would make it through the night or next battle and fear of losing my life without being able to say good bye to those I love most.

A soldier is meant to carry many things, both physical and mental, but they carry nothing more powerful than their courage to persevere and fight the good fight.  

Journal 13: Bittersweet Dreams

In the story "The School Days of an Indian Girl," author Zitkala-Sa talks about her personal experiences growing up on the reservation and then entering what she calls "the white man's world." It is a personal tale of her struggles to balance both worlds that she lived in, Native American and White. She is sent to learn English and to be educated to be successful in the white man's world but she is constantly unhappy, fearful and it's a forced process. When she decides to go to college, against her mother's will or approval, she writes "Thus, homeless and heavy-hearted, I began anew my life among strangers." This sentence jumped out at me the most because after reading the other portions of her story I realized that this is the first time she is alone in something she is doing unlike in the past experiences she has at least a few people around her to give her support. She uses the world "anew" as the single positive word in the sentence to try and emphasize that there is hope and meaning in what she is doing, even if it is alone. This sentence has a powerful purpose at the beginning of the final section of the reading because this talks about her triumphs in the white man's world. She wins an orator competition on her own and breaks the barrier for her Native people to succeed outside of the reservations. It is the hope at the end of a long journey.

I think that her "American Dream" does come true but in a very bitter sweet way. She achieves it alone without any friends or family around to support her and she has to sacrifice a lot of her old self to get to where she is. However I believe that that is how it should be when someone chases their dreams. Achieving a dream should not come easy. It should come with sacrifice, growth, and self-reliance. Zitkala-Sa does all of these and has a bitter sweet achievement at the end of her long journey.

Blog 12: Hawaii's Queen, Liliuokalani

Quote: "It has been shown that in Hawaii there is an alien element composed of men of energy and determination, well able to carry through what they undertake, but not scrupulous respecting their methods."

Queen Liliuokalani is one of the most intelligent women writers I've had the pleasure of reading. She is articulate, enlightened and worldly, making her writing that which makes the reader think and read twice to understand her meaning. I choose this quote because it is like that. She first says that there is an "alien element composed of men or energy and determination" which with that language, by calling them an "alien element" it degrades the way she sees some of her people as a force of nature, not human. In this way they cannot be controlled because they are driven by their energy and determination. During the time of her decline in power and overthrow, men from the United States saw the riches that Hawaii had to offer the rest of the world, like the perfect soil for pineapples (considered exotic at the time) and sugar cane. Men like Bob Dole were money hungry men with a lot of energy and determination to make something out of the islands of Hawaii, but did not care who they stepped on to get what they wanted.

That is where the second part of the quote I chose comes in, where she writes that they are not "scrupulous respecting their methods." Scrupulous can mean a few different things, but has an overall negative connotation behind it. She means that they fastidious or thorough when carrying out their methods. There are things they forget or choose to ignore. I feel that her word choice of "scrupulous" is key because it means "thorough or careful" but the sentence has so much more power and a negative unspoken jab at the men she talks about when she uses the word "scrupulous." The way she words many of her sentences in her writings have a lot of literary power behind them.

Journal 11: In the Hands of a Fellow American

Since when I first began to learn about the African American treatment after the Civil War, back in middle school, only one question has ever consistently played in the back of my mind. After reading the story by Pauline Hopkins, “As the Lord Lives, He Is One of Our Mother’s Children,” this overwhelming feeling to ask who gave another individual a right to take the life of another American citizen, has grown even stronger. 

Our nation was founded on the idea that each individual should have the right to their own life and not be told what to do by the masses, the ones in charge. Our legal system and Congressional system take a long time to complete actions because they are making sure they do not encroach on anyone's personal rights. In the story, "As the Lord Live, He is One of Our Mother's Children," Gentleman Jim, or George Stone as we first know him as, is one who is fighting for his right to live. He has been accused of killing a man and there was no evidence he had done it but individuals from the community decided he and his friend were guilty, without trial, just hearsay. Then that same community took his friends life through lynching and sought to do the same to him. Is hate the driving force of inequality in America? Things have changed since then but during that time there was so much innocent blood spilled by the hands of other true blooded Americans. 


I guess my question is not easily answered but I would conclude as such. Every person has the right to a fair trial, as stated in our Constitution and no other individual has the right to take the life of another person out of anger, greed, jealously or hatred. In the era of lynching, hatred and anger drove the actions of the people in the South and I commend those African Americans who had the courage to stay and risk their lives to try and start living their own "American Dream." 

Journal 10: No Turning Back

The short story, “The Wife of his Youth,” by Charles W. Chesnutt was a surprise to me up until the last line with a true “Aha!” moment. The story did not go the way I thought; in fact I believed that somehow the women the main character, Mr. Ryder, intended to marry would be somehow a apart of the surprise. I like the fact that it was Mrs. Dixon, the woman he had intended to ask to marry him, who answered him first after his speech about a hypothetical story ending with the question “Shall you acknowledge her?” It is the first place where I realized where the story was taking a turn and has a bit of irony to it. It is ironic that the woman he had become infatuated with is the one to tell him to recognize his true wife. This story pairs well with the poem “Learning to Read” by Frances Harper because it is one about perseverance against all odds. Mr. Ryder’s first wife traveled for 25 years searching for her true love, never giving up on something she wanted above all else. The poem is from a free slave woman’s point of view of her talking about how she is looked down upon for reading but she will do anything to read her Bible and “the precious words it said.” Like Liza Jane, Mr. Ryder’s first wife, the speaker in the poem will only feel at home when they are in a place where they feel safe and independent and free from fear and doubt. 

I enjoyed and found insight from both readings. The perseverance and courage both women have is inspiring. During this time for a woman to travel alone to multiple cities in search of one man is dangerous and would be seen as hopeless. She looked passionately for 25 years and never gave up. Would someone today do that for their loved ones? We hear of stories where military wives divorce their husbands over seas after just a year of being apart. Devotion and honor is not like it used to be. Then the woman in the poem, who sought to read her Bible is a sweet and innocent sign of independence. She inspires those who feel persecuted for doing something different to fight the good fight and never relinquish their right to knowledge. 

Journal 9: Home to Who?

Being a San Diego native, immigration and the laws surrounding them are very familiar to me. When you live about 5 miles from the border of Mexico you can't help but notice or be aware. California has been a sanctuary for many different races immigrating to America even before the 1860's. From China to Mexico, a wide range of immigrants have found a way to settle in the prosperous land of California. Even today many people seek to come to California for work, mostly from Mexico. But one thing hasn't changed in all these years and that is the constant struggle in politics about immigration laws. Whether the reason be exclusion due to hostility, like the Chinese Exclusion Act, or for the fear of overcrowding in already crowded cities, both sides had a reason to argue their case.

What is funny is that even today this political battle is continuing. Some states would like to pass laws, and some have, that have limited immigration into America. Others call this unconstitutional and believe that we should welcome all kinds in with open arms to escape persecution. I see in the past where our laws about immigration have been to severe and probably led to the killing of many Jewish refugees fleeing Europe. Could we have possibly saved a few thousand more from returning back to a gas chamber? But I've seen with my own eyes the economic destruction of a city where there are too many people and they demand so much, too soon.

In the reading they talk about immigrants "flocking" to America, and taking the benefits and opportunity by storm. It is the true American Dream to be able to build a life for you and your family out of having nothing. But there must be a line drawn to how much is too much and how many a house or home can hold before it causes that home to be destroyed from the inside out.

Journal #8 Responded to Alex London

Journal 7: Powerful Peace

In the poem, "Ethiopia" by Frances Harper, the one thing that really stuck out to me was the powerful imagery she conveys through her writing. Not only is it vivid but it parallels itself to the Bible story of the slaves in Egypt. While reading this my mind kept going back to the first scene from The Prince of Egypt, for those who have seen the movie, where the slaves are toiling in the hot sun, covered in dust with their scarred hands stretched out towards God. Harper writes in her poem about the peace that has finally come, that the "tyrant's yoke off from her neck, his fetters from her soul," but the imagery she portrays here makes the reader feel that they were that of cattle, since oxen were driven by yokes in Biblical times. The imagery she uses through out the poem is very powerful and leaves one feeling like they themselves have been freed by an affliction, that they should join in the calming celebration found in freedom. Her imagery does not spur the reader to do something drastic, but instead gives a feeling that everything is going to be "ok" now, that we are free and we are to give thanks. She writes in her final stanza "Then, Ethiopia! stretch, oh! stretch they bleeding hands abroad; They cry of agony shall reach, And find redress from God." I feel that in this final thought she reminds the reader that they were in pain by saying "bleeding hands" but then, not ending in anger or call to action, she says to turn to God and he will give you rest. The imagery in this poem is in this consistent pattern, pain afflicted and then finding solace in God and his protection.

Journal 6: From Both Worlds of Race & Culture

In the story, "Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl," by Harriet Jacobs, there are many themes that characterize her writing and are vividly brought to life. One of the main themes throughout her writing is the issue of race & culture. First of all, Harriet is a mulatto, meaning her mother was black and her father was white. In that time, a child with different race parents would be persecuted from both sides of the race spectrum. Jacobs doesn't say this, however she brings up the fact that she is mulatto more than once which makes me as a reader believe it was a big deal, and maybe even brings on a feeling of shame because then she herself had mixed race children. It is clear that she is caught between both the white and black world. She works for many white masters in a more than personal way yet she is treated like nothing more than property. You can feel her frustration with this in her writing, especially when she talks about her relationship with her first mistress. 


The most interesting conflict I saw in the reading was when Harriet was talking about her first mistress. She speaks highly of her, saying she taught her to read, write, and felt like a second daughter to her. So Jacob's grew up knowing very little of the idea of being a slave since she was blessed with being in a kind white household. But when the mistress died, she was left a slave and this person she considered like a second mother, did not give her her freedom. She writes, "My mistress had taught me the precepts of God's Word: ' Thou shalt love they neighbor as thyself'...But I was her slave, and I suppose she did not recognize me as her neighbor." It is ironic that this mistress taught her that Biblical saying and yet could not show that same neighborly love to her. Because of Harriet's race and ethnic background she was not seen as equal to this woman who was so kind to her, and because of her race, was not given her freedom. Harriet grew up in one world but always "belonged" to another in the world's eyes. 

Journal 4: Beauty vs. Beast

As children we've always been told that beauty is in the eye of the beholder or that we all have inner beauty. But for some of us that were less than perfect when it came to our outer personal image, we can identify with the struggles that the character, Asenath Martyn, has in the short story "The Tenth of January" by Elizabeth Phelps. Asenath is compared to her friend Del, who she refers to as “Pretty Del,” and together put back to back, I see them as a symbol of deception. That the way one looks on the outside can easily fool the outside world of it’s true worth.

A lot of what society decides is pretty or meaningful is by the way it looks on the outside. In this story Del is described as a beautiful girl while Asenath sees herself as “a humpbacked white creature, with distorted face & wide eyes.” Del counts her rejected lovers while Asenath counts her lonely nights. Del seems like the perfect girl but at a critical analysis of her friend Asenath says, “…so pretty! So pretty! She’s just good for nothing, Del is; would let the kitchen fire go out, and wouldn’t mend the baby’s aprons…” This description is critical because it just shows how misleading looks can be. Even though Asenath is an unattractive girl, she can keep house and perform the duties a wife should but because of her looks her worth is diminished beyond saving.

Although not a obvious show of symbolism, Phelps has extensive comparison between the two friends for a reason. The world is easily fooled by beauty, and will quickly ignore those things that are of true worth and value. A crushed flower is still a flower, beautiful and worthy in its own way.  

Journal 3: The American Marriage

Washington Irving’s short story “The Wife,” is what I would call a true American love story. There is a well known idea that circulates our society that the men are the providers and protectors and the women work “backstage” most of the time but when the man is in need of support, his wife is right there to consul him. I can relate to this in my own relationship, even a military man needs a hug once in awhile. However what is inspiring about this story is the humility and sincerity of the couple that is rare to find in couples of our time. Our American values have changed a lot when it comes to marriage because I have seen marriages fall apart because the man can no longer keep the family at a financial level so the woman will go, leaving her wedding vows behind. As this story conveys beautifully, Leslie’s wife stands by him with a smile and adapts to the situation. This is difficult for modern day women since they believe they don't need a man to take care of them all the time. Women of our day are very independent, I myself am one of them, but I understand the partnership that comes with a relationship. You never leave your partner behind; you stick it out together, for better or worse. I see the inspiring values of trust, humility and patience in this story lost to our society.


"Marriage is not a simple love affair, it's an ordeal, and the ordeal is the sacrifice of ego to a relationship in which two have become one."- Joseph Campbell

Journal 2: Cave Paintings to Nooks

It is amazing to me how far the written word has come. From primitive symbols to dictionaries full of descriptions of words, our print culture has evolved and developed so much. But in this time of technological advances it is hard to remember that back then very few things were published into physical manuscripts and books. It was a treasured item of a household where now people buy and own Nooks, Kindles, ect. I myself own and love my Nook dearly, but before owning it I used to read novel after novel and as I read this introduction it saddens me a little. Our society is becoming lost to the feel of a novel in their hands, the physical written word that they can hold. When the 13 colonies were established people gathered from MILES around to just hear the Declaration of Independence read, whereas now just go to Google and it’ll pop up in your search engine in a matter of seconds. As a future teacher I worry that the next generations will only see two versions of the written word: children’s books and textbooks… and even that is changing now. I believe books have powers of their own, this is evident hundreds of years ago, and stands true even today. 

"Talent alone cannot make a writer. There must be a man behind the book."
                                           - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Journal 1: American Identity

Adlai Stevenson, American Vice President and Congressman, once stated that “America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact- the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality.” In my opinion, this is true. America is more than just a place but it must have people, firm believing American’s to stand beside their country and their peers to keep this dream alive and protected. In class we were asked to name words that described what it meant to be American and there were many different words thrown out: hope, freedom, diversity, equality, ect. To each individual person being “American” meant something completely different depending on their background. Sometimes a person can feel intimidated by a peer if they have a politically different view of what you believe is considered American. Although I heard other people’s definition of their American Identity, my own idea stood steadfast. I believe an American is one who has passion, determination, and courage to stand beside their beliefs even though confronted by an opposing force. An American should be accepting of other races but stay true to who they are and what they believe in. When I think of what a true American looks like, I always think of the military. Men and women who give their lives every day for people thousands of miles away, some people even who don’t ever take the time to say thank you. An American is one who is grateful for what they have, and give service to those in need. My American Identity definition and idea is my own, and although it may differ from another’s that shouldn’t matter, because this is what America is to me.